Equality, Girls, Women Empowerment, social issue

Don’t judge her!!

Okay I have only male friends. Does that make me a girl of a questionable character, or a girl who is available or a slut?

Yes I only have female friends. Now does that make me the most innocent girl ever?

How do you decide if a girl is innocent or not?

Or what we say, ache ghr se hai? Comes from a good family?

Wait let me tell you, by measuring how many male or female friends she has.

That’s correct.

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Social Issues, Relationships, Marriages, society, Relationships

Marriage Vs. Deal!

Marriages are made in heaven. However, the deal is finalized here, on earth. May sound wacky, but let’s face it. That’s how marriages are done in our society.

When parents marry their little daughter, they are partly happy and hugely nervous and scared. The reason of their happiness is understood but why scared. There should not be any reasons to be scared.

She found her new home. She found her soul mate. She found her new family.

Are these reasons to be scared?

Importantly, are these reasons justify for bride’s parents to be scared?

Scared because they are marrying their daughter. Scared because everything needs to be perfect. Scared because the whole responsibilities of the functions are on the shoulders of parents of the bride.

Scared because they don’t know if the groom will be able to fulfill all his promises made to their daughter. Scared because what if their daughter faces domestic violence. Scared because what if their daughter has an abusive relationship. Scared what if their daughter could not handle the problems and comes home.

Let me tell you bride’s parents are scared for their lifetime.

What to do? How do we solve these problems?

Solution is let’s make a deal.

Now to curb the anxiety and tension, deal is made between two families.

To make sure that their son in law will keep their daughter happy, deal is done.

To make sure in laws would treat the girl like their own daughter, deal is done.

To make sure that she will be guaranteed life time happiness, deal is done.

The word, deal that I am using here could be used in terms of money, expensive gifts to allure, or basically we can short it down to dowry.

And if they are not happy with the services provided by the bride’s parents, they might have to give up their dignity and self-respect as well.

We have seen many times in Bollywood movies where bride’s parents are standing with their hands folded, tears in eyes, and are so helpless. Yes, maybe that’s too much for us. But even now people still have that fear of being a parent to a girl.

For how long we will have to make these deals to ensure that every girl is happy in her married life?

We live in a 21st Century. Most of the times, young kids take their own decisions. They are educated, independent, smart, and broadminded.

Why they become conservative and talk about so called values when it comes to the marriages. Why a boy doesn’t stop his parents when his parents start demanding from his bride or bride’s parents? How a girl can let this happen to her parents? Why she does not ask her parents not to stoop down when it comes to dowry or any other demand? How can a boy expect gifts or luxury items from his bride’s parents?

Not only this, apparently, people have given a new name to “dowry” and also to “giving up self-respect”. The modern name is “Gesture”.

I get surprised when I see well informed people are completely alright with this tradition and call it a sweet gesture knowingly that it’s a crime.

Don’t fulfill your dreams on somebody else’s expenses.

Should not love and understanding be enough for each other to live life? Should not there be respect for each other’s parents? Should not we get past things like giving and receiving gifts?

Something to think about?

Cover Image: Google Images

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Relationships, Mother, Daughter, Uncategorized

Dear Future Mom (in-law)

Dear Future Mom in- law,

Hii, I hope you are fine, fit and healthy wherever you are. I am in no hurry to meet you for next two three years. I am busy focusing on my career right now and want to establish myself before I meet you and your son.

However, I am also really excited for the fact that I will get to live with you. You know, I have always heard girls complaining about how pain in the ass can mom in laws be. Sorry using such words. But that’s how they say it.

Yes, they complain and always complain about their respective mom in laws. They also say that the second most dangerous word after bomb is mother in law.

The picture that I have in my mind of you is that you never smile. You are the most difficult person to live with. You demand and always demand and you moan. You are the most irritated person ever. You deliberately create problems in life. AND MUCH MORE!

Can you be that evil?

I DOUBT.

I respectfully disagree.

First of all, you have always been the boss of the house. So there is no way I can handle that responsibility well. I should not expect to be the queen of the house and you should not demand that I would learn everything immediately. I will have to learn and for which I might trouble you again and again. We have to patiently deal with this home handling situation.

Secondly, you and I may have a fallout. You and I may not agree on certain things. We may not talk for days. But that does not mean I hate you. You also should not call my parents or relatives or anybody and complain about me.

Sometimes, I do have small arguments with my mom. But I don’t go out and speak ill of her and make her villain of my life. I won’t ever do to you too.

Thirdly, I feel that by tagging our relationship with the word in law, we automatically bridge a gap between us. I don’t want us to be separated by the term in law. I want you to be my mom like my own mom with whom I can share anything and everything.

I want to be a daughter who knows what you expect, what you want and what you need.

I want to have a bond with you that when I come to you feeling sick or low, you comfort me with your care and put me to sleep.

Also I expect you to encourage me in my career like my mother has been doing all these years or like you have been doing for your son. I don’t want you to get influenced by people saying daughter in laws should stay at home and look only good taking care of the household chores.

I am not saying I will not take care of the house or the family. I will definitely give my 100% to the family. But I also expect you to understand that I am an ambitious woman with some dreams.

Lastly, let’s be a team and turn the heads around towards us.

I hope this all come true.

See you in some years.

Love.

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social issue, Women Empowerment, Social Taboos

The Timetable!!

I think girls in India are born with the timetable. They enter the world with well-prepared schedule ready for them by their parents.

The typical journey of a girl:

She enters school when she is four or five.

By the time she is eighteen, she needs to be done with her higher education.

Then she enters college, completes her graduation and post-graduation.

After her education, she needs to put her complete focus on her career.

The time span given to her for her career is 2 years. Not more than that.

The day she turns 25 or 26, that’s when she needs to start her married life according to her timetable.

Not just this, she is also told when to produce babies according to her timetable.  (No Kidding).

All her life, she does what she is told to do. When she is asked to focus on her career, and she becomes complete career oriented, fate changes. They say, she can work on her career after her wedding also. (Popular saying: shaadi ke baad kar legi, career hi toh hai).

By chance, if she falls in love (Another popular saying: inn sabh baton mei kuch nai rakha, career pe focus karo).

Well the point is if she should not fall in love before then why even after? Just because she is 25, the time has come to fall in love.

Why her life is in the hands of others.

I am not saying elders don’t take right decisions. They have much experience than us.

However, I feel we should get past this “Timetable Pressure” and social pressure that have been on girls from decades.  Do not fix any particular age to do things.

The most common problem in a girl’s life is that we tend to find faults if she wants to do things her way.

Why can’t you let her do what she wants to do and support her. Are not this is what parents for?

Are parents only responsible to set up the timetable?

Most of the time, girls give up their dreams because they don’t feel confident about it. That’s because, instead of the assurance, doubts come up.

Instead of supporting her and saying that yes you will be able to do it, queries come up such as are you sure? Think twice. Don’t regret.

Why can’t you say, go for it. We are with you.

If she wants to work for 5 years and then get married, let her do that.

If she wants to get married before starting her career, let her do that.

If she doesn’t want to get married at all, don’t force her.

If she wants to be an entrepreneur, support her.

Be responsible for her happiness.

Do not entangle her with social taboos.

Trust her, hold her hand, give her support, let her breathe and let her live.

Cover Image Source: quotesgram.

 

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Dark Skin, social issue, Uncategorized

DARK is new Beautiful

So I was following my daily routine at work. Had lunch with my friends and then we went out for a walk after lunch, discussed latest issues. We conversed and conversed little more. All of a sudden our conversation just hit me when one of my colleagues and a very dear friend Mamta said that people talk about her skin color.

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Image Source: Tumblr.

This conversation started when I was telling them that I will soon be going to get one tattoo which is in my to-do list for this year. Mamta was too excited to come along with me to the tattoo parlor as she heard my plans.

Next day, we were chatting and she disclosed that how she also wants one for herself. So I said get one which represents you or your life. She agreed with me. But she was having a hard time to decide because she is not well aware of her likings or dislikings as of now which is pretty normal. Sometimes, we just have to go with the flow of life to learn various things about ourselves.

So I consoled her and said make a list. Write down whom you are closer to, what you love the most, anything that you feel related to. And then she said, yes, people talk about my skin color because I am dark skinned. I didn’t feel bad for her. She is a very strong, brave and a confident personality. She doesn’t let others feel her inferior about anything else. She sure doesn’t say anything, but yes she stands like a hard wall.

I really didn’t have to encourage her so that she doesn’t feel bad because as I said she is firm and a positive spirit.  However, I was thinking of those people who roam around in the world with such mindset. They are themselves plagued and are clinging others with their thought process.

I never heard in my life about anyone complaining about the skin color of men. Never heard anyone saying he is so thin or heavy. What I have always heard discussing others about them are how well paid they are, how qualified they are, how well-mannered they are.

When it comes to women, why such physical attributes are so important. Does not she have an equal rights to flaunt her talent over her looks? Should not society give her a chance to showcase her skills over her skin color? Is it a crime if we talk about her accomplishments over her weight or height? Why is it that we have to have first look at her appearance than her qualification or education and is just exactly opposite in the case of men.

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Image Source: Tumblr.

Well, yes things are gradually changing. It is taking time and it might take a lot of time. But if we have more and more people like Mamta then this world will become a better place to live.

We should develop these feelings in ourselves that we are no lesser than anyone. Embrace yourself. Let these people be who just brag about such issues.

I am proud that I have a friend like Mamta in my life who is so full of life and positivity. Had it been me instead of her, I have no idea how I would have handled myself or such situation. She is such an inspiration.

Shine 100%

Mamta: Pretty Girl.

 

Cover Image Source: Tumblr

 

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Uncategorized

‘Too Dark’: In Conversation with Jovita George

Preferring fairer skinned over darker skinned has corrupted lots of minds. Not only, girls look out on internet for home made remedies to get fairer skin in just a week, these skin whitening ads act as parasite on the minds of people.
I look out in the matrimonial ads which starts as fair complexion girl, 5. 6 height, 48 weight and much more. or looking for a fairer complexion girl. It is sickening. Just sickening.

auburnrhyme

People are usually unaware of the exact era, some believe it roots back to colonialism and only stood as an issue once the British rule ended, where as others say it has always existed. Despite the historically differing views, as we know it today – dark skin prejudice is a largely problematic intraracial issue, which affects almost all cultures and communities.

Being of South Asian heritage myself, it’s disheartening to see the way the way that minds are conditioned into associating beauty with the fairness of the skin. Prejudicing darker skin tones is a problem that often dictates the way that young dark skinned people feel about their own skin, especially girls.

Today, I am in conversation with Jovita George, who is also known on the internet as Mr Jovita George. As a dark skinned Indian influencer on YouTube, she kicks the stereotypes aside and let’s her confident…

View original post 756 more words

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social, Women Empowerment, Body Shaming, Society

Hold the horses! Look who are here.

What’s with the people slamming women all the time? I read newspaper and I find people criticizing women there. I open up social networking sites, and I happened to read some people are attacking women there. Let me tell you these women that I am talking about are talented, independent, confident, self-assured and really famous personalities of our nation and world.

I guess people just can’t get over the fact that women are equally ruling today. Women are empowering. They are getting stronger and pushing the walls harder.

Serena Williams, an established name in the tennis world with 22 Grand Slam titles to her name became the victim of body shaming. Rather than talking about her performance at Wimbledon, what people chose to talk about that one could see her nipples through her white tennis shirt.

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Serena William at Wimbledon 2016.

Image Source: Pinterest.

Get a life dude. Every human being has those. Yes you also, who made issue out of it.

Recently, Jennifer Aniston also faced such criticism. By just looking at her stomach, paparazzi assumed that she is pregnant and made her stomach talk of the town.

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Jennifer Aniston.

Image Source: Tumblr.

How about we talk about her career? How about we talk about that loving Rachel from Friends? How about we talk about her movies and how about we talk about how much she has entertained us all of these years and how well she is continuing to do that.

Not just this, people also want to criticize actor’s decisions in their movies. Recently, a Bollywood blockbuster Sultan was released starring Salman Khan and Anushka Sharma.  In the film, where Anushka’s character Aarfa decides to choose motherhood over her career and people chose to pour hate comments over the social media sites.

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Anushka Sharma in Sultan.

Image Source: Pinterest

Social Media sites definitely give you a power to speak your mind but at least make some sense. How legit it was to make fun of global star Priyanka Chopra’s armpits. Say something about her accomplishments. Why in the world people is bragging about her armpits?

Priyanka Chopra on Maxim Cover Page

Priyanka Chopra on the cover page of Maxim.

Image Source: Pinterest.

However, Priyanka Chopra had the best answer to shut all of them up.

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Priyanka Chopra’s answer to all who lashed at her.

She tweeted back and gave a hard time to haters.

I would just want to say one thing that if you choose to blabber for no reasons, then women also choose not to put tapes on their mouth. Get ready to have some backlash on your road fellas.

Or else, Peace!!

Featured Image: Pixabay.

 

 

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